i feel like the hourglass has been turned back over, or the room has been flip-flopped and i’m now walking on the ceiling.
the details and plans of mom’s journey in fighting breast cancer are not going to be quite like we were once told. monday evening, mom’s surgeon called. not knowing who was on the other line, mom pretended not to be herself in case it was another pesky telemarketer or charity spokesperson. funny girl. :)
during last week’s lumpectomy, the surgeon found two other masses that just didn’t look or feel right to her. we weren’t aware of this at the time, but she removed them and shipped them off to pathology. these areas, which weren’t found on any of mom’s previous scans, are also cancerous. this changes the game a little.
in light of this, the surgeon recommends that mom undergo a double mastectomy and chemotherapy afterward. sort of a far cry from what we were told her journey would include. because the type of cancer my mama has is lobular, it is more often found in both breasts than are other types of breast cancer. her surgeon now feels that other “hidden” tumors could be in both breasts, and a double mastectomy provides her best chance at beating it for good.
it’s been two days since the phone rang. i didn’t cry as much today, and i hope that means something good.
please don’t stop praying for my mom in the upcoming month. can you imagine having to relinquish a part of your own body, wondering if you suddenly stop being a woman once it’s gone? i can’t. i try, and it makes me ache to the core.
i’m sort of hesitant to say goodbye to 2009. the next year scares me now. we’re beginning 2010 with a bigger fight than we first envisioned. good thing we’re a tough bunch.