i’ve been thinking a ton about the ability to rejoice, regardless of circumstances. it’s a sign of spiritual maturity, it’s an indicator of where one’s trust truly lies. and it’s hard. this past sunday morning at church, it was genuinely difficult to celebrate during worship. i found myself begrudgingly clapping during certain songs, and simply wanting to cry during others. i didn’t feel good about it whatsoever. i began to wonder if this was the moment i was beginning to shift into a state of miserable bitterness based on what stage of the journey i’m currently in. but someone reassured me that it wasn’t false worship, that it would eventually pass. and i know she’s spot-on.
last night at switch, our student pastor gave us an illustration that mirrored what i’ve felt and wondered in these past few days. he instructed us to close one eye, place our index finger over the eye we still had open, and look at him on the stage. “which one looks bigger – me or your finger?” he asked. compared to what was right in front of us, he seemed so small. our circumstances, tragedies, and unexpected speedbumps so often appear to be bigger than the God we abide in, but clarity eventually will show its face.
God is bigger than cancer. He’s bigger than my fears. He’s bigger than the trust i have trouble placing in Him when it comes to my parents’ health. He’s bigger than my bad days.
whatever’s in front of me, i’ll choose to sing hallelujah.
do you have a similar story?